Weigh-in, etc., etc., etc........

Weigh-In:

I weighed in at 241.2 this morning and silently thanked GOD that the number is still going down.  I am not eating badly but exercise has been minimal.  

First Fill:

So I had my first fill on the 4^th and have not had time to write about it.  The Dr. and I went back and forth about whether I actually needed a fill…. I don’t think I needed one but it is so hard to be sure.  I feel like I am both in the yellow and green zone.  I have been consistently losing since surgery.  I do think about food constantly and then convince myself that I am hungry - so I am wondering if it is head hunger?  Anyway, she decided to give me .5cc to “get the process started”.  I really didn’t notice a difference at all.  

Confusion with the Rules:  

I met with the nutritionist before my fill and I am apparently allowed to have a healthy snack (almonds, yogurt, string cheese, etc. ) if I get too hungry.   I thought snacking violated one of the cardinal rules of being banded.  It is so hard sometimes to have so much information coming from everywhere – some people eat a cup some eat a 1/2 some can have carbs, some can’t and so on……  I like to have a list and do things to the letter…. But that won’t happen because we are all different. 

Anyway, what I am finally starting to figure out is that I have to go with what MY body wants (kind of a duh realization but….).  For example, I was having a really hard time with not eating and drinking at the same time (partly b/c I am in AZ and it is hotter than hell here).   So the dilemma was coffee/water or breakfast …. I wake up hungry, thirsty and tired lol.  So the solution for me seems to be – bottle of water on the way to work, coffee at work and only breakfast if I feel I need it.  Maybe that is not the best idea but it did relieve some of my stress of getting the three things in at the same time…. And I seem to be fine.  The coffee holds me until lunch.   I don’t know why I am so overwhelmed by learning how to eat again.  It has been over a month.  I may or may not admit crying in front of the nutritionist about feeling like I was doing everything wrong.

Running:

I want to start – anyone have suggestions  :)

NSVs: 

Wearing a pair of pants today that have been folded in the closet for quiet sometime and they fit comfortably with some room!  

I realized at lunch today that my world is revolving slightly less around food and it is less of an indulgence as it is a necessity.  This is a HUGE thing for me because the other me looked forward more than anything to what I could shove in my mouth next….  Food was my drug of choice!!  It was/is definitely an addiction – there are still days where I feel truly resentful about the fact that I can’t eat as much as I want but those days are getting fewer and farther between.  Thank goodness!