I weighed in at 241.2 this morning and silently thanked GOD that the number is still going down. I am not eating badly but exercise has been minimal.
So I had my first fill on the 4th and have not had time to write about it. The Dr. and I went back and forth about whether I actually needed a fill…. I don’t think I needed one but it is so hard to be sure. I feel like I am both in the yellow and green zone. I have been consistently losing since surgery. I do think about food constantly and then convince myself that I am hungry - so I am wondering if it is head hunger? Anyway, she decided to give me .5cc to “get the process started”. I really didn’t notice a difference at all.
Confusion with the Rules:
I met with the nutritionist before my fill and I am apparently allowed to have a healthy snack (almonds, yogurt, string cheese, etc. ) if I get too hungry. I thought snacking violated one of the cardinal rules of being banded. It is so hard sometimes to have so much information coming from everywhere – some people eat a cup some eat a 1/2 some can have carbs, some can’t and so on…… I like to have a list and do things to the letter…. But that won’t happen because we are all different.
Anyway, what I am finally starting to figure out is that I have to go with what MY body wants (kind of a duh realization but….). For example, I was having a really hard time with not eating and drinking at the same time (partly b/c I am in AZ and it is hotter than hell here). So the dilemma was coffee/water or breakfast …. I wake up hungry, thirsty and tired lol. So the solution for me seems to be – bottle of water on the way to work, coffee at work and only breakfast if I feel I need it. Maybe that is not the best idea but it did relieve some of my stress of getting the three things in at the same time…. And I seem to be fine. The coffee holds me until lunch. I don’t know why I am so overwhelmed by learning how to eat again. It has been over a month. I may or may not admit crying in front of the nutritionist about feeling like I was doing everything wrong.
I want to start – anyone have suggestions :)
Wearing a pair of pants today that have been folded in the closet for quiet sometime and they fit comfortably with some room!
I realized at lunch today that my world is revolving slightly less around food and it is less of an indulgence as it is a necessity. This is a HUGE thing for me because the other me looked forward more than anything to what I could shove in my mouth next…. Food was my drug of choice!! It was/is definitely an addiction – there are still days where I feel truly resentful about the fact that I can’t eat as much as I want but those days are getting fewer and farther between. Thank goodness!