Saturday, July 30, 2011


Before - Black/One Month - Green.  Thanks Robyn for suggesting a comparison :)

Thursday, July 28, 2011


245.2.... Not a big loss but I am feeling pretty good and my clothes are definitely fitting better.  Of course I was hoping for more than a .3 lb but I will take what I can get....

As for the incision....  Round three of antibiotics since surgery!  Hoping the 3rd time will bethe charm.  I am a little miffed that the Dr. Office wouldn't fit me in until next Tuesday especially since he wasn't too happy with the way the incision looked at my pre-op visit.  I guess the surgeon is out of town but not sure why anyone else couldn't see me.....  I guess I will call my PCP.


Monday, July 25, 2011

Fine line...

This whole re-learning how to eat thing is hard. There is such a fine line between I'm good and oh boy I ate too much! I am having a hard time with this. I think my main issue is eating too fast..... The past two days I have had bad chest pain after eating.... I am hoping it is something I can change by slowing down, chewing more, etc. I wish I had more patience! It is so hard to slow down when I just want to finish and move on to what I need to do next!

Also, I wish my port incision would heal it is still open! Starting to wonder if a Dr visit is in order???

Day by day. This is definitely a learn experience!

Friday, July 22, 2011


It’s BYOC day! Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!!

1. Alright – forgive me – we’re gonna get a little personal here. I was flipping through my organizer and saw in big bright letters “ANNUAL PHYSICAL DUE” coming up soon. Then I remembered that last year my lady bits doc said that since I haven’t had a bad pap in so many years – that I don’t have to come back for another 3 years if I don’t want to. What the what? Did you guys know that?

No speculum in the vaginulum?

Anywhoozle – it sounds all good but really – do any of you follow this medical rule? Do you go every three years if you’ve never had a bad pap?

I have never had an abnormal pap but I still go every year.  I have two other friends that have had cervical and ovarian cancer with no symptoms until they had an abnormal pap so I just like knowing that everything is all good.

2. If you read, what are you reading right now? Or how about what is your fave music right now?

Don’t really read – would love to – but between work, my daughter etc. I don’t really have time.  However, I love audio books and download them to my ipod to listen at work.  I am listening to the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series.  I tend to really like mysteries.  I also have a guilty pleasure for Twilight and Harry Potter – those I actually read ;)
My music generally goes with my mood and I love everything – generally the Top 40 from every genre.  It usually has to be something that makes me want to dance… Current fav is LMFAO Party Rock..

3. Name some of your favorite smells.

I have a perfume addiction – currently Marc Jacob’s Lola, Bath and Body Works Black Amethyst, Elizabeth Arden Pretty. 
I agree with Draz – love the smell of my daughter’s freshly washed hair. 
My hubby’s scent – Nautica Blue I think.
The Ocean

Side note – Since surgery, I have been turned off or completely grossed out by so many smells – especially food.  Totally similar to being preggo (no ladies, I am sure that is not the issue J)! Anyone else experience this?

4. Showers or baths? Shampoo only or shampoo & conditioner? Shave daily or just when you start feeling and looking like an ape?

Shower in the morning – bath at night… I am a water waster! Shampoo and conditioner – my hair is too thick to go without! I shave every couple of days… I usually wear pants so it makes me lazy in that department.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blogland.

Blogland = awesome!  I am so happy, touched, thrilled and so many other happy words to be a part of this!  I love reading everyone’s blogs and having people comment on mine. It is such a great sense of support!

Real Life – I should be working but instead I am doing BYOC.  Nothing overly exciting going on – my daughter has her last indoor soccer league game tomorrow but other than that hoping for a relaxing weekend! Looking forward to a few weekends off before club starts.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

NSV that sorta includes the scale!

So I did my weigh-in post and then went back and deleted it thinking it should have been 254 not 245. NOPE! I am infact in the 240's - just took me a second to actually believe it! :)

Weigh in...

245.4 lbs

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


First of all - THANK YOU to everyone who is following me!  I appreciate it!  All the bloggers out there are an amazing support system!

As each day goes by I become more convinced that I made the right decision in having this surgery.  I must admit the first weeks I started to doubt myself!  I still have a fear that this will not work but I have to put my all in to it.

I am still unsure how to eat.  I don't think that I have had more that 400 cals a day since surgery.  I go back to solid food on Thursday so I am hoping that will help get the number up.  My insurance company provides nutrition counseling and therapy for WLS patients.  I am waiting on referrals but I am planning to take advantage of both.  I knew that I had a food addiction but I never really realized how much until I eliminated it.  I have no other addictions. I don't smoke, rarely if ever drink, etc.  Food was my one soothing thing....  Most people who know me questioned me having the surgery because I eat very health and small portions..... ummmm.... that is in public.  I binged at night, alone, at home - I would look forward to everything that I could shove in my mouth when I got home.  In public, I was always super conscious of what I ate, how much and so on.  Scary actually putting this down in writing!!

I am scared that when it comes to working out - I may fail.  I know that I cannot allow myself to do that but I have lost motivation so many times in the past.  I look forward to hitting the gym - my port incision has yet to close!!  It is starting to worry me a bit but I do tend to heal slowly so hopefully soon!

I am very proud of myself that I have made it this far!  :) I can already see the positive effects that this has had on my family!  My husband has been awesome through recovery!!! Both my husband and my daughter are eating slower and healthier.  We are having longer dinners and more time at the table together.  It is the small things like this that make me feel good about my choice.

On an unrelated side note - I cannot believe that my baby is going to be starting 4th grade in 3 weeks.  We were looking for her new backpack and I had a mini meltdown when she told me how un-cool character backpacks are... SIGH! 

Have a lovely night all :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Uh oh.......

Went to a kids birthday party today and ate 2 tbsp of nacho cheese and a corn chip that I crumbled and waited for it to become mush... Feeling super guilty.  I have to learn to come w options if I am going to be somewhere else when I need to eat :(

Friday, July 15, 2011

Two Weeks Post Op

I have so many thoughts, questions, etc. throughout the week and never jot them down! Grr...  I am FINALLY starting to feel like me again.  I never expected that would take almost the full two weeks.  I am still pretty tired and sore.  I will say that I did not anticipate this kind of recovery.  I expected to bounce right back and not be down for almost a full week.

I am starting to adjust to eating (still on mushies).  I think that I am scared for real food mainly because I am worried that once a put a bite of food in my mouth I will gain what I have lost so far (19lbs)... Secondly, I am worried about getting stuck. 

I did go out to dinner with some friends last night - not as hard as I expected but definitely have to work on slowing down, being fully conscious about what I put in my mouth (quantity wise) and when I am full.... I guess you just keep going one day at a time.......  Have a fantastic weekend :)


It’s Friday so that means it’s BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer questions today in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire…and ENJOY!!

1. Let’s do something crazy….I’m going to list the rainbow colors and you type the first FOOD item that pops into your head that symbolizes that color for you…’s mine:

Red – Red Peppers
Orange – clementines
Yellow – lemons
Green – lettuce
Blue – blue berries
Purple – grapes
Brown – pasta
Black – black berries

2. What is on your kitchen table right now?

A mess of the weeks mail and newspaper... flowers, placemats, books

3. What movie do you watch again and again and again? Not like what movie have you seen 5 times…but like what movie have you seen 30 times or more?

Iron Man II - so weird I know. 

4. If Satan had a last name – what would it be?

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blogland - trying to get on blogging, find some new follower and band buddies :)

Real life - working, starting to feel almost me again.